Finding Love at Home (The Beiler Sisters) Read online

  “See your sister for a moment.” Sadie waved toward the bedroom door. “Then keep the water warm in the kitchen. I’m going that way now. We’re going to need lots of it for coffee… hot chocolate… towels.” Sadie laughed again. “Bopplis don’t ask us when to arrive.”

  That they don’t, Ida agreed as Sadie disappeared toward the kitchen. The front door slammed, and Joe said something to Sadie. The midwife murmured something back. Ida eased herself into the bedroom. Verna was propped up in bed with pillows, her face red and sweaty. Ida rushed forward. “You poor thing! Is it that bad?”

  “Keep Joe out of here!” Verna gasped. “I have enough to take care of right now.”

  Ida hid a smile. How she was going to accomplish that, she had no idea.

  Verna caught her breath and whispered, “Why did Eve ever eat that apple in the garden?”

  “We’re not such saints ourselves, you know.” Ida reached for Verna’s hand. “They always say the first boppli’s birth is the worst.”

  “And they’re right,” Verna said, taking another deep breath. “Did Mamm say anything about coming?”

  “Nee.” Ida squeezed Verna’s hand. “We didn’t know you wanted her here.”

  “Neither did I.” Verna grimaced. “Mamm’s comforting presence would be nice right now.”

  “Shall I send Joe for her?” Ida let go of Verna’s hand to turn toward the door.

  Vern grabbed for it again. “Nee, let’s stick with the plan. You’re here! What more could I want?”

  “I’m not sure I can do much,” Ida said as Sadie came back into the room with wet washcloths.

  Sadie waved her hand toward the bedroom doorway. “Ida, you can keep Joe out of here. That’s your job right now. I told him he’s to come no closer than the living room. He’s an emotional wreck, that man is. You’d think the husbands were having the boppli sometimes.” Sadie placed a cool washcloth on Verna’s forehead.

  A grateful look crossed Verna’s face. She relaxed into the pillows. “How long will it be now, Sadie?”

  “Only Da Hah knows that, dear heart,” Sadie said. “The boppli is turned right, which you can be thankful for. So we wait until it’s time, and we pray.”

  “Yah,” Verna whispered. “We must pray.”

  Sadie closed her eyes. “Dear Hah, we ask for Your peace tonight as we gather for the miracle of birth. Bless Verna and Joe. Calm their troubled hearts. Help Verna through the pain by making it bearable. I will do what I can in the hours ahead, but You know that’s precious little without Your wisdom and guidance and strength. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Ida echoed.

  Verna managed a smile.

  Ida stayed with Verna a few minutes longer before she stepped outside the bedroom. Joe jumped up from the couch when he saw her, but she motioned him to sit again. “You might as well get used to the fact that it’s going to be a long time. Just relax, Joe. There’s no sense in wearing yourself out.”

  Joe snorted. “It’s going to take more than aspirin for me to relax.”

  “Have you had supper?”

  Joe appeared startled. “I guess not.”

  “Well, that might help,” Ida said. “I’ll make you some.”

  He didn’t object—and even looked grateful.

  Ida went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. She found leftover casserole. There was enough for the three of them. Ida started the fire in the oven and found half a cherry pie in the pantry while the stove heated. A head of lettuce and a few carrots became a tossed salad of sorts. It would have to do. Bread, butter, and jam were also in the pantry. With milk for the pie, that would be supper.

  Once she had everything ready, she let Joe, Sadie, and Verna know there was hot food in the kitchen.

  Joe came in immediately and sat down. He prayed and then helped himself.

  Ida took her place at Verna’s side while Sadie went to fix a plate for herself.

  “How’s Joe doing?” Verna asked.

  “He’s eating,” Ida chuckled.

  “He’ll be a great daett.” Verna tried to smile through a contraction. “We just have to get through this part.”

  “You will!” Ida squeezed Verna’s hand. “Both of you will.”

  “You’re such a comfort,” Verna whispered. “Thank you for being here.”

  Should she tell Verna about Minister Kanagy? The news rose up inside of her and pushed at her lips. This seemed such an inappropriate moment. Nee, she would focus on Verna’s needs. Her own happenings weren’t that important right now. It was best if Mamm were told first anyway.

  “Are you sure there’s not something I can get for you?” Ida asked as she took Verna’s hand.

  “Just be with me for a moment,” Verna said. “Sadie thinks things might be going faster than she expected, even if it is my first one.”

  “You’re doing okay!” Ida encouraged.

  Moments later Sadie came back. Ida left to fix herself a plate in the kitchen. Joe was gone, so she sat at the table and ate alone. Sadie had put the coffeepot on the stove to heat, so the aroma filled the room. Joe must have taken her advice and gone upstairs to lie down while he could. The house stood silent. Ida’s thoughts wandered to Minister Kanagy again. If she married him, her life was about to change in radical ways. Overnight she would become the mother of eight children and the wife of a minister. Becoming a mother was a hope she’d not dared to dream since Melvin’s death. She’d let go of his children, figuring they were gone forever from her life. But apparently Da Hah had other plans.

  “Help me do my duty,” Ida whispered into the air of the silent kitchen. “And help me love them all—including Minister Kanagy.”

  She finished her meal and cleared the table. On the stove the coffeepot hissed as steam rose into the air. This was so like life, Ida thought. You lived and then you were gone, just like vapor that rose upward and vanished from the world. At least her life would have meaning and purpose.

  “Thank you, dear Hah for this change.” Ida glanced at the ceiling. “And let Verna birth a healthy child. If it is not against Your will. Otherwise help us bear the sorrow with Your grace.”

  Eight

  That same Sunday evening, Alvin sat bent over at the table, his head resting in his hands at his parents’ kitchen table in the dawdy haus. He was here to visit his mamm, yet he knew that wasn’t the real reason. He should be at the hymn singing, but he wasn’t. Mildred had gone there an hour ago. She’d driven her own horse and buggy. He’d watched her by peeking around his living room curtains. He’d almost gone out to help her hitch her horse to the buggy, but that wouldn’t have been right. Mildred would get more ideas in her head about their relationship than she already had. And she would have asked him why he wasn’t going.

  She could see that his buggy was still here… it sat in plain sight. He would still have to answer her question eventually. But now he could do that tomorrow morning when she came to help with the chores. Hopefully by then he’d have a satisfactory answer for his strange behavior. His real concern tonight was Debbie. What would she think when he didn’t show up at the hymn singing? She had to know Crystal Meyers had been at the church service this morning. Debbie had probably even recognized her when she arrived because Crystal was sitting with Deacon Mast’s frau, Susie. And that was why he’d kept his head down all day and rushed home before the noon meal.

  Would Debbie think he had anything to do with Crystal’s sudden appearance? He should have driven over to see Debbie this afternoon, but he couldn’t bring himself to face her right now. And it wasn’t because he still had feelings for Crystal. He was sure he didn’t. But Crystal must still have an interest in him, otherwise why would she have come? Debbie would think he’d done something to encourage that. He hadn’t. But how was Crystal’s presence explainable? Who would believe him? Especially not after he’d admitted to Debbie just last Sunday that he’d feared she might in some ways be like Crystal. After all, Debbie had come from the Englisha world. Yah, he had been wrong to t
hink that, but now with Crystal showing up, what would Debbie think? It was a horrible mess, and he was to blame for it.

  Alvin stood. His daett, Edwin, had stirred in the living room. Alvin hadn’t wanted to sit alone with him, and his mamm hadn’t been up from her Sunday afternoon nap, so he’d settled in the kitchen. Now she must be out of the bedroom.

  Alvin stepped through the kitchen doorway and winced. The sight of his mamm in her crippled condition tore at his heart. His parents weren’t that old—at least to him. Yet almost overnight his mamm had lost so much. Her left hand was immobile, and her speech was slurred. She couldn’t walk without the help of a walker. His daett was by her side now. Edwin was trying to help, but he seemed helpless as he fumbled beside her. Alvin rushed forward to take his mamm’s hand. “Have you had supper?” he asked. It was a stupid question, he figured, but better than nothing.

  His mamm stared at him for a moment. “Are you visiting?”

  “It’s Alvin!” Daett hollered near her ear. “He stayed home from the hymn singing to pay us a visit.”

  “That’s gut,” Mamm mumbled. “I’m glad to see him.” A faint smile crossed Mamm’s face.

  Alvin leaned forward to give her a hug. She didn’t respond other than to look up at him. “I love you, Mamm,” he said, giving her a peck on the cheek.

  “We should get her something to eat,” Daett said, looking concerned. “There are leftovers in the refrigerator that Mildred left. I’m supposed to heat it in the oven when she gets up.”

  Daett is likely to burn the house down, Alvin thought. Mamm had always tended to the kitchen duties. But perhaps Mildred had drawn hidden talents out of Daett.

  As if he could read his son’s thoughts, Daett said, “I had to make do for a while before Mildred came. I know how to make a fire in the oven.”

  “Come then.” Alvin took Mamm’s hand and gently pushed the walker toward the kitchen table.

  His daett stopped him. “Nee, she’ll rest more comfortably in the rocker until I get her food ready.”

  Alvin shrugged. “Okay.” He helped ease Mamm into her rocker. She settled in with a smile on her face. “It’s gut you’re visiting, Alvin.”

  “Yah, Mamm.” He stroked her arm.

  Daett was at the kitchen doorway. “If you want, there is enough for you to eat from what Mildred has in the refrigerator, Alvin. Unless you’ve had supper.”

  He hadn’t, and he was hungry. Alvin nodded his thanks. He stood and followed his daett into the kitchen. This is strange, he thought. He’d grown up and worked with his daett in the fields but never in the kitchen. This was women’s work—duties men didn’t perform. Yet here they both were and at the same time.

  For the first time in a long time, Alvin’s heart stirred toward his daett. Alvin had always been so sure he was different from his daett, but now he was no longer so certain. And there was still the fact his daett had never done what his youngest son had done. He’d never fled to the Englisha world like a scared rabbit rather than face his problems. And his daett had never stayed home from a hymn singing because he’d seen his old girlfriend at a church service.

  As his daett built up the fire in the stove, Alvin got the leftovers from the refrigerator. From what Mildred had left in the refrigerator, the girl knew how to cook. But then he expected that. Mildred had been raised Amish. Did Debbie know how to cook? But of course she did, he told himself at once. He must not question or doubt her.

  “How was the service this morning?” Daett asked as Alvin handed him the food to put in the oven.

  “Okay,” Alvin replied. What would Daett say if Alvin mentioned that an Englisha girl from his past had been in attendance? Alvin shivered. There would likely be words of rebuke spoken like he hadn’t heard since he was a child.

  “I hope Mamm can go again someday.” Daett’s voice was wistful.

  It probably wouldn’t happen, but Alvin wasn’t about to say so. “Perhaps I can stay with Mamm some Sunday while you go,” he offered.

  Daett seemed grateful. “Yah, perhaps. I haven’t been wanting to ask such a sacrifice from Mildred. She does enough for us already.”

  He couldn’t stay next Sunday, Alvin thought. That was the day of his next date with Debbie—if she wasn’t upset with him. But why would she be? Debbie had been nothing but reasonable last Sunday. He must pay her a visit some evening this week and, at least, explain his erratic behavior. He couldn’t explain Crystal’s presence, but Debbie would understand.

  Daett spoke. “Mildred tells me you’re getting along well with her at the barn in the mornings. She likes helping with the chores.”

  Alvin cleared his throat. “You really didn’t have to send Mildred out. I’m fine alone.”

  “A man is never fine alone,” Daett’s voice rumbled, “You need a frau, Alvin. That house is mighty empty all by itself, especially with no kinner in it. But I suppose your mamm should be telling you this. She would if she could.”

  Alvin stared at the floor. “I took Debbie home last Sunday night.”

  Daett glared at him. “So Mildred told me. I had hoped you’d forgotten that girl after waiting all summer.”

  “Debbie was baptized the other Sunday,” Alvin said. “She’s Amish now.”

  “Water only goes in so deep, Alvin. That girl was Englisha once, and you know how them Englisha live. Will you take a frau who leaves you at the first sign of trouble coming down the road?”

  The words stung. Alvin was like his daett and hated to admit he had the same fears. But he wasn’t about to say so now.

  “You done thought the same thing, didn’t you, Alvin? So why don’t you follow your better sense and take Mildred as your frau instead? She seems like a real decent woman. She’s interested in you, if I don’t miss my guess.”

  “Daett.” Alvin tried to smile. “Daett, I love Debbie. And, well, Mildred and I have a bad history, and I’d like to just leave it alone.”

  “History is gut, Alvin.” His daett opened the oven door and touched the food with his finger. “Ouch! Ready to go, I think. Go bring Mamm.”

  Alvin had no plans to renew a romantic relationship with Mildred. That was certain, and his daett knew that. There was no sense in arguing about it.

  Alvin helped Mamm to the table. She had just sat down when headlights came down the driveway of the old farmhouse. Alvin was ready to go outside to see who it was when the car moved right up to the sidewalk of the dawdy haus. That made sense, Alvin thought, sitting down again. Some Englisha neighbor who knew his daett was calling. The person had seen that the farmhouse was dark but there were lights on further back. Daett could meet them and see what they wanted.

  Daett glanced at Alvin. “You can pray with your mamm. I’ll go see who it is.”

  Alvin nodded. He reached over to hold his mamm’s hand. They bowed their heads and gave silent thanks.

  Mamm reached for her spoon when she was finished praying.

  Alvin was thankful Mamm could still feed herself. He dreaded the day when the indignity of not doing so would be heaped on her. But perhaps Da Hah would have mercy and spare Mamm that humiliation. He sincerely hoped so.

  Daett’s voice from the front door filled the house. “Gut evening. May I help you?

  And then the voice that sent shivers up his spine seemed to reverberate throughout the house. “Is this where Alvin Knepp lives?”

  Alvin was already on his feet when his daett asked, “What business do you have with Alvin?”

  “Well… ”

  Alvin rushed to the door and wondered how to handle this situation. He should have known she’d make contact. She hadn’t come just for the church service that morning. He’d hoped his rapid departure after the meeting would have sent the message that he had no interest in seeing her. Apparently the message wasn’t received. And now his daett was involved.

  “Excuse me,” Alvin said as he pushed past his daett. “I’ll speak with Crystal outside.”

  “What is this?” His daett sounded suspicious.
r />   Alvin ignored him and plunged on toward Crystal’s car. He figured Crystal would follow him, and they’d be out of earshot for whatever this conversation might entail.

  “Alvin, please stop! Have I done the wrong thing in coming here?”

  Alvin stopped and faced Crystal. He held his anger and tried to even his breathing. “We’re not in Philadelphia, Crystal. I’m home, and you know what home is to me. Why have you come?”

  “Alvin… ” She reached out and touched his arm. “Please, Alvin. Let me explain.”

  He drew back. “Explain what? There’s nothing to explain. It’s over between us. I have no more feelings for you.”

  Her voice was soft. “I know that, Alvin. And that’s why I’ve come tonight. I respect you. I wanted you to know that I’m not here for that.”

  “Then why are you here?” His voice sounded unnecessarily harsh, but he couldn’t help it.

  “I wanted to see where you came from, I guess. What kind of world produced a good man like you.” Crystal’s expression was intense.

  “Crystal, please. Your being here isn’t going to work. There are too many questions that will come up. You can’t just come here without expecting to cause problems. People will talk.”

  She held out her hands. “But I haven’t done anything, Alvin. I went to church with your deacon and his wife this morning. I did that after asking around in Beaver Springs and being directed to the deacon’s residence. I told them I had family in the area and wished to visit an Amish church. And the Amish people couldn’t have been nicer! I was shocked that after the service you raced outside and left without speaking to me. That’s when I decided I’d better look you up to make sure you understood I wasn’t here just to see you.”

  “Deacon Mast told you where I live?” Alvin choked out.

  Crystal paused for a moment. “Yes. Was that bad? I was visiting family and was curious about your community. That’s all.”

  There were a dozen things wrong with this situation, Alvin thought. Among those was what Debbie would think. And what the ministry would do when they discussed Crystal. On top of that, he had to deal with his daett on the subject now. “Your presence complicates everything, Crystal.”