A Heart Once Broken Read online

  Just then Lydia raced from the house, down the porch steps, and toward the buggy. Sandra leaned out and said, “You don’t have to hurry. We have all day.”

  Lydia waved her hand and deposited the mop and rags in the back of the buggy before she answered. “I’m always in a hurry, you know. And we’re stopping in at Rosemary’s place, aren’t we?”

  “Yah,” Sandra said. “We have plenty of time. We won’t finish the house today because there’s too much to be done.”

  “That’s okay. We have time before the wedding.”

  “Speaking of weddings,” Sandra said with a wry smile, “how are things going with Harvey?”

  “Fine. He brings me home. I serve him food. We talk,” Lydia deadpanned.

  Sandra laughed. “Maybe it’ll happen suddenly to you the way it did to me. But you don’t have to worry, it will happen. Soon your days of trouble will be over and you’ll be looking forward to a wedding this fall yourself.”

  Lydia shrugged. “Let’s not talk about me and Harvey. Deacon Schrock’s happy, and Harvey’s a pleasant friend. Let’s leave it at that.”

  “Okay, but have you asked Harvey whether he’ll be a table waiter at our wedding?”

  “Yep,” Lydia replied. “Harvey said that he most certainly would, that he would be honored.”

  “Goot!” Sandra said as they pulled into Rosemary’s driveway fifteen minutes later. “Should we tie up?”

  “We’re not staying that long,” Lydia said as she climbed down from the buggy.

  As the two approached the house, Rosemary’s mamm opened the front door before they knocked. She had a tired smile on her face.

  “Is Rosemary awake?” Sandra asked.

  “Yah, she woke up an hour ago,” Rosemary’s mamm said. “And she will be glad to see you both. She’s still upstairs in her bedroom. You can go on up.”

  Sandra led the way up the stairs and peeked into the open bedroom door. Rosemary was propped up on several pillows, and her face broke into a big smile when she saw her friends. “Come in, both of you. This is such a treat.” Rosemary motioned toward two chairs in the room.

  Sandra stepped up to the bed to give Rosemary a hug. “How are you doing?”

  Lydia did the same, as tears moistened her cheek.

  Rosemary managed another smile. “I’m okay. The Lord has His reasons and His ways. He doesn’t always explain them to us.”

  “But are you doing any better?” Sandra inquired.

  “Good days and bad days, I guess.” Rosemary sat up straighter on her pillows. “I’ve had another of Dr. Katz’s experimental treatments this week. It’s different from the last one. This one makes me sleepier. Of course, neither Mamm nor Deacon Schrock will say how much this all costs, but that will be the end now. No more expensive treatments if this doesn’t work.”

  Lydia reached over to hold Rosemary’s hand. “I can’t imagine what you must be going through.”

  “At least I have Ezra.” Rosemary grinned. “He’s such a blessing, but you both already know that. How are you doing with Harvey Miller, Lydia?”

  “We’re friends, but that’s all.”

  “That’s all so far,” Sandra interjected. “With God all things are possible. Look at me and Clyde if you have any doubts.”

  “Have you told Lydia about Ezra, like you promised?” Rosemary gave Sandra a long look.

  Sandra gasped. “No. And I’m not going to.”

  “What on earth are you talking about?” Lydia asked.

  “I asked Sandra to talk to you about Ezra,” Rosemary said.

  “What about Ezra?” Lydia asked, casting a wary glance at Sandra.

  “Rosemary, don’t…” Sandra begged.

  “If you won’t, I have to,” Rosemary said. She turned to Lydia. “I don’t have much time left…I just feel it in my bones. I want you and Ezra to look after each other when I’m gone.”

  “Rosemary!” Lydia gasped. “How can you say that? Ezra is yours.”

  “He’s mine while I’m here,” Rosemary agreed. “But he won’t be mine when I’m in heaven.”

  “Oh, Rosemary! You don’t know what you’re asking!” Lydia said.

  Rosemary ignored Lydia’s outburst. “You will, won’t you, Lydia? Ezra has been the most wunderbah man I could have had by my side all these long months. I know he loves me, but I also know he was given to me for a reason and for a time. That time is almost over. And when I’m gone, I want Ezra to have the best frau possible.”

  “Rosemary!” Lydia scolded again. “Stop talking like that. I will not hear it. You are going to get well, and Ezra will wed you, not me.”

  Rosemary lay back on her pillows. “Will you at least promise not to turn him away if he comes to you after I’m gone? Will you promise me that?”

  Sandra held her breath. Lydia didn’t say anything as she stared at the bedroom wall.

  “Promise me?” Rosemary repeated. “Promise for my sake?”

  Lydia broke her silence and squeezed Rosemary’s hand. “Look, Rosemary, I would love to say whatever brings you comfort, but I can’t make promises about such matters. You must think about getting better, and not about Ezra and me. I once pursued Ezra, but that’s in the past. Sandra did, too, but now she has Clyde. I’m seeing Harvey, Rosemary. You know that.”

  Rosemary reached up to touch Lydia’s face. “You have a heart of gold, Lydia. I know you’re the one for Ezra, but I also understand your situation. Remember, though, what I told you when I’m gone. Be kind to Ezra. He’s a man with a tender heart.”

  Sandra cleared her throat. “Maybe we’d best go now, Rosemary. We must have already tired you by now.”

  Rosemary tried to sit up but fell back on the pillows. “You have lightened my load considerably now that you know this, Lydia. I love Ezra so much and he has been so kind to me. He will be here again tonight.”

  Lydia reached down to squeeze Rosemary’s arm. “You let Ezra help you get better.”

  Sandra gave Rosemary another hug before the cousins slipped out of the room.

  After they had climbed into the buggy, Lydia whispered to Sandra, “I was so embarrassed by that conversation.”

  “I know. I would be too,” Sandra said. “Rosemary asked me to tell you earlier, and I told her I expected her to pull through. I said I would only say something if she didn’t make it. I also told her she should be the one to tell Ezra.”

  “Ezra!” Lydia exploded. “Would she really say such a thing to Ezra? Oh, now I feel like crawling in a hole and covering myself up with dirt.”

  Sandra gave Lydia a sharp look. “Ezra might consider Rosemary’s advice, you know. What would you do then?”

  “It won’t happen. She’s not dying.” Lydia was firm. “Rosemary will get well.”

  “You have no argument with me on wishing for that,” Sandra agreed.

  Lydia was quiet for the rest of the ride until Sandra pulled into the driveway of the farm Clyde had purchased beside his daett’s place on Todd Road.

  Lydia took a long breath at the sight of the huge house. “Sandra, this is what you have always dreamed of.”

  “I know.” Sandra laughed as she pulled Dixie to a stop by the barn. “I never really thought it possible. I was just, well, dreaming.”

  But Lydia wasn’t listening. She had climbed out of the buggy to gaze at the house. “Sandra! This is delightful! I’m so happy for you!”

  Sandra tied Dixie to the barn wall and returned to gaze at the house alongside Lydia. Sandra finally exclaimed, “Someday I will rejoice with you, Lydia, as you are rejoicing with me! We will all be whole again!”

  Lydia didn’t answer as tears trickled down her cheek. “I’m just happy for you, Sandra.”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  The morning sunlight flooded the upstairs hallway where Sandra held Clyde’s hand. Today was their wedding day…at last. Sandra looked up into his face and declared, “You’re so handsome this morning in your new black suit, Clyde. I could—”

  Standi
ng beside them, Mark chuckled. “Um, the rest of the wedding party is here, you know.”

  “Surely I can tell my almost-husband that he’s goot-looking,” Sandra retorted. “You can plug your ears if you don’t want to listen. And if I kiss him right here and now, feel free to look the other way.”

  “The bride’s feisty this morning,” Clyde’s cousin Dennis commented.

  “Okay, enough out of you two,” Clyde said. “Anything my bride says at this moment is fine with me—in public or in private.”

  Sandra giggled and gave Clyde a quick hug. Mark and Dennis shook their heads in mock horror.

  Finally Mark glanced at his watch and said, “It’s time to go now. Besides, I can’t take much more of this.”

  Sandra clung to Clyde’s arm and whispered in his ear, “I’m so happy this morning. And you are so very…”

  Mark glared at Sandra. “You’re not going to hang on his arm as you go downstairs, I hope. The family will never live down that embarrassment.”

  “I know how to behave myself,” Sandra replied. “But I’m happy today, and I’ll show it however I want.”

  “Do they always fight like this?” Dennis quipped.

  “At least she doesn’t quarrel with me,” Clyde said with a smile. “She likes me.”

  Mark hid his smirk. “That’s because she hasn’t had time to fight with you yet.”

  “I’m going to get you for that remark.” Sandra took a step toward Mark.

  Dennis pretended to tremble with fear. “She is feisty! Soon she’ll come after me.”

  “You two stop!” Clyde ordered, but he glowed with happiness himself. “Who would have thought I’d have clowns for witnesses on my wedding day?”

  “Ignore them,” Sandra decreed. She brushed the front of her dark blue wedding dress one last time before she took Clyde’s arm and marched toward the stairs.

  Sandra took a deep breath as Clyde opened the stair door and they stepped out into the living room. The minister’s bench was set up to the right of the stairwell, and Bishop Henry’s smiling face looked up at them. Deacon Schrock was seated at the end of the bench, and he also appeared pleased. Sandra followed Clyde to the special chairs set up near the bedroom door. She had placed them there herself early in the morning, well before daylight. She had stepped back in the light of the kerosene lamp to imagine how they would look seated across from each other, with the two witness couples on either side of them. Now she didn’t have to imagine it—the moment had arrived.

  Sandra waited until Clyde sat before taking her own seat. She pinched herself to think that by afternoon, Clyde would be her husband.

  A song number was given out, and from across the room Amos’s broad smile caught her attention. Sandra forced herself to smile back. He was still demanding at times, but the man had paid for her wedding. He had allowed her to plan the day as she wished. Amos had insisted on one thing, though—that her dress be made of a dark blue material. That was a tradition in their family, he had said.

  “You’ll look goot in anything, dear,” Amos had assured her. Mamm, too, had married Amos in a dark blue dress. That was fine with Sandra—sort of fine. She didn’t look her best in dark blue, but Clyde had seemed impressed this morning when he saw the dress for the first time. So it wasn’t worth a battle.

  Sandra focused on Clyde as Bishop Henry rose to his feet. He led the line of ministers up the stairs, and Sandra followed Clyde’s lead when he stood to follow them. The two witness couples stayed behind. This would be a time of final instructions given to the wedding couple before they said the marriage vows. She already knew how to keep house, can food, wash clothes, and cook. She also already loved Clyde. Still, there were doubtless things she could learn. She’d pay close attention this morning. A teachable spirit was highly valued in the community, and she would be a goot frau for Clyde. On that, she was determined.

  Bishop Henry had seated himself when Sandra entered the largest upstairs bedroom with Clyde a step in front of her. Mark had helped her move the bed yesterday in preparation of this moment. They had set chairs for the ministers on one side of the room and two on the opposite wall for Clyde and herself.

  “We’d best practice,” Mark had teased.

  “This can’t be that difficult,” Sandra said.

  Mark had chuckled and seated himself on Clyde’s chair. “The simplest things are what trip you up.”

  She had given in and seated herself beside Mark to stare at the line of empty chairs. She had descended into giggles, and Mark joined her with laughter of his own.

  “Thankfully the ministers don’t see us now,” Mark had quipped. “They’d declare you unfit to be wed.”

  “No they wouldn’t,” Sandra had shot back. “They’d know I’m just happy.”

  A smile lingered on her face as Sandra remembered the moment. She glanced across the room at the line of ministers and sobered at once. They wouldn’t know why she was smiling, and she wasn’t about to explain.

  Bishop Henry gave them both a brief glance before he opened the session. “Let’s have prayer and remember our young couple before the Lord,” he said. “As you all know, we are very thankful for this moment and for the testimony they both bring to the community. But we know the enemy lies ready to destroy and to steal. Also, we can remember Rosemary on this our day of joy. As the Lord sometimes wills it, sorrow and happiness walk close together.”

  “Amen,” several of the ministers said, and they all bowed their heads.

  Bishop Henry led out with the words from a psalm. “O LORD, our LORD, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.”

  Sandra sent up her own prayer. Dear Father, remember Rosemary today in her suffering. Let Rosemary become well, if it’s not against Your will, perhaps even on my wedding day. If not, then comfort Rosemary’s heart and give her joy during her suffering. And help us all today. Let me not be overcome with my happiness, but let me remember that life has sorrows ahead for Clyde and me. Help us to endure and finish our journey together with faithfulness and commitment to each other.

  Bishop Henry finished his prayer with an “Amen.” Sandra kept her head bowed for a moment.

  “And now for the instructions for our young couple,” Bishop Henry said. “I don’t have much to say myself, really. Both of you have manifested a spirit of humility and submissiveness in your life. Sandra, you have been through a difficult valley with the death of your daett last year. But you and your mamm have made wise choices since then, and the Lord has clearly blessed your efforts. For that we give much thanks. As to further instructions for the bride, I’ve tasted of her mother Edna’s cooking, and have been greatly blessed. I’m sure, Sandra, you have learned to work equally well in the kitchen from a mamm who is such an excellent cook.”

  “She won’t be starving Clyde, that’s for sure,” Deacon Schrock quipped.

  The line of ministers joined in the laughter.

  “Have you instructions for our young couple?” Bishop Henry asked the deacon.

  “I’ve given plenty already,” Deacon Schrock deadpanned. “Perhaps we’d best leave the floor to the others this morning. We don’t want to stay up here all day.”

  “Are you saying that you’re long-winded or that we are?” one of the other ministers asked.

  Deacon Schrock laughed. “I was referring to myself, of course. Sometimes I don’t get home from my Saturday rounds until after the cows come home.”

  This produced another round of laughter, and even Clyde joined in. Sandra didn’t, though, because it might not be proper. She could laugh in the presence of the other women, but a smile was sufficient at present. These were all ministers, after all, even if they indulged in a lighthearted attitude this morning.

  “I think I’ll follow Deacon Schrock’s excellent example this morning and keep my thoughts brief,” the first minister said. “I have been married now for ten years to Melissa. The Lord has blessed us with six children in that time. If there is one thing
I would wish to say, it’s to Clyde. Be the man in your home, and lead your children in the fear of the Lord. Be careful to discipline your children for their disobedience, and bring their will under the Lord’s order. This will save much trouble for you and for them later. And to Sandra, I say support your husband. Stand by his side always when you have differences with the children. Speak to him in private, and Clyde, when she does, consider her thoughts. You are the head of the home and must make the final decision, but your frau will have important things to say. As one wise man once told me, ‘Your frau is often right, but it’s difficult to accept it when it happens.’”

  Another round of laughter went up and down the line.

  “I thought you were keeping your thoughts brief,” Bishop Henry teased.

  “I couldn’t resist that line,” the minister said, with a chuckle.

  “Okay, let’s keep moving,” Bishop Henry instructed. “Those were all wise words, so Clyde and Sandra, consider them.”

  Fifteen minutes later the last minister finished his remarks. He said, “Be strong in the Lord, both of you. Keep a teachable spirit about yourselves. Listen to each other and raise your kinner in the fear of the Lord. On our part we will remember you in prayer, and wish you the Lord’s fullest and complete blessing.”

  “Okay, thank you all for that,” Bishop Henry concluded. “You can go now, Clyde and Sandra. We’ll be down in a bit. That is, after we’ve figured out who can preach the shortest sermon on your important day.”

  Clyde joined their laughter and stood up to lead the way out of the room. “They were awful nice to us,” Clyde whispered on the way down the stairs.

  “Yah, and my heart is overflowing with happiness,” Sandra whispered back. “Because soon you will be my husband.”

  Clyde’s face glowed. He paused long enough on the stairs to give Sandra a quick hug. “I’d kiss you now, but they’d see our red faces,” he said.

  Sandra suppressed her giggle and clung to Clyde’s arm until the moment before he opened the stair door.

  Clyde seated himself, and within a few minutes the ministers came down the stairs. They still had smiles on their faces, so Deacon Schrock must have made a few more jokes since they left the upstairs room. Sandra forced herself to pay attention as the first sermon began. The words were all goot and helpful as the time drifted past. Lydia caught her eye during the second sermon, and sent a warm smile her way. Sandra smiled back as the joy of the day flooded all the way through her.