Miriam's Secret Read online

Miriam sprinkled a few grains of salt on the eggs. That was how Mr. Bland liked them. Not too much. “Just a touch,” he’d say. With a smile on her face Miriam put the plate and a glass of orange juice on a tray and walked through the living room to the porch. Mr. Bland would enjoy his breakfast on the porch. If not, she would help him back inside.

  “Mr. Bland!” she called as she swung open the screen door. “Breakfast is ready.”

  There was no response. Miriam approached him and waited for him to look up. Had he started his morning nap already? She tried again, louder this time. “Breakfast, Mr. Bland! Just as you like it!”

  When he didn’t move, she laid one hand on his shoulder. His body slumped forward. Miriam gasped as she dropped the tray and grabbed for him. The tray clattered to the porch floor. She moved to the front of the rocker and fell to her knees. Her hands were on his now. “Mr. Bland! Mr. Bland!”

  His head slumped lower.

  She noticed he had a slight smile on his face, but the life had clearly gone out of him.

  Miriam took a deep breath and forced herself to her feet. What happened? she wondered. Was she to blame? Should she have not encouraged him to sit on the porch? Had she done something wrong? Why would Mr. Bland die without warning? Tears stung her eyes, and she wiped them away. Now was not the time to give in to emotions. She must do something, but what? Perhaps Englisha doctors could still bring Mr. Bland back—if she called them quickly.

  With another glance at Mr. Bland, Miriam rushed inside to the phone on the kitchen wall. What number should she call? 9-1-1? Isn’t that what the Englisha people used in their times of trouble? Yah, it was. Her hand trembled as she punched in the numbers.

  A woman’s voice answered quickly. “What is your emergency?”

  Miriam choked out, “The man I work for just passed, I think. He isn’t responding. I left him on the porch while I fixed breakfast, and now he’s not…” Miriam caught her breath. “I think he’s…dead.” A lump formed in her throat.

  “What is your location?”

  “County Road 135—2945 County Road 135,” Miriam managed to get out.

  A barrage of questions followed.

  Yah, she could leave the phone to check Mr. Bland’s pulse, but she knew there wouldn’t be one.

  The operator assured her paramedics were on the way. In the meantime, could she start CPR?

  “I’ve not been taught,” Miriam said almost apologetically.

  “Help is on the way,” the woman repeated. “Stay on the phone with me until they arrive.”

  “I’d rather not,” Miriam responded. “I should be out there with him.”

  The woman seemed to understand. Miriam left the phone dangling from the cord and groped her way outside. Sirens would soon fill the air. They would spell out in a language everyone could understand that something had happened to Mr. Bland on her watch. What should she have done differently this morning that might have made a difference? Were there signs she should have recognized that would have told her to summon help sooner?

  The bacon and eggs were still scattered over the porch floor. She ought to clean things up before the Englisha people arrived, but she was too weak to try. And they would understand. Rose would too. Miriam stopped her thoughts suddenly. She had to call Rose! Rose would want to know about her brother. Miriam headed back into the kitchen and lifted the receiver. The 9-1-1 operator was still on the line. Miriam blurted, “I need to call someone else. I need to call Mr. Bland’s sister, Rose. She needs to know what’s going on.”

  “I can make that call for you,” the 9-1-1 operator said. “What’s the number?”

  Miriam read the number off the note on the kitchen wall where Rose had left it. Miriam had only called Rose a few times in the two years she’d been working for Mr. Bland. It had always been for minor matters. Nothing like this. Rose’s brother had passed over the river, and only Miriam had been here.

  The operator said, “Stay on the line…or at least keep this one open, okay?”

  Still dazed, Miriam agreed but said she needed to go back to Mr. Bland. She let the receiver hang from the cord and made her way back to the porch. Maybe Mr. Bland wanted to die today. How that was possible, she didn’t know. A man couldn’t choose his day of dying, could he? Or the time? She approached Mr. Bland and took his hand in hers. Yah, she supposed it seemed possible. But she would not speak such thoughts to anyone else. Mamm would think them terribly out of order. “Only the Lord can choose such things,” Mamm would say.

  She let go of Mr. Bland’s hand and stood beside the chair. Soon the wail of a siren sounded in the distance, and moments later an ambulance turned into the driveway. Two attendants grabbed their gear and sprinted across the lawn. She stepped back, and they gave her brief nods, but their attention was on Mr. Bland. That didn’t last long either.

  “He’s gone,” one of them said. Turning to Miriam, he asked, “Is he your grandfather?”

  Miriam pressed back her tears. “No, I take care of him during the daytime. His sister comes on weekends.”

  “Has his sister been notified?” the other man asked.

  Miriam nodded even as Rose’s car raced into the driveway. The car stopped abruptly, the driver’s side door flew open, and Rose jumped out and ran across the lawn. Miriam stepped back even further as Rose rushed to her brother’s side.

  “He’s gone, I’m afraid,” the paramedic repeated.

  Rose nodded and turned to Miriam. She slipped an arm around the young woman’s shoulder. “Were you with him, dear, when he passed on?”

  “I left him on the porch while I fixed his breakfast,” Miriam said, motioning toward the splatter of eggs and bacon on the floor. “I found him this way when I came out with his food.”

  “I’m glad you were here,” Rose said. “I’m glad he wasn’t alone. He was here, on his porch, looking across the farmland he loved. Really, it’s the way he would have wanted it.”

  Miriam nodded. Yah, it was the way he would have wanted it. She knew him well enough to know that much.

  “He loved you like a granddaughter,” Rose continued.

  The paramedics were on cell phones, no doubt calling in their report to the dispatcher.

  Rose went on. “He was an old codger, but you made his last days on this earth happy. For that I can’t thank you enough. I know he would have worn me out, and I would have had to place him in a nursing home. How horrible that would have been. He would have died there of a broken heart years ago. Instead, he was able to pass over from his front porch, probably with Thelma on his mind, while a beautiful woman fixed breakfast for him.”

  Miriam wiped at the tears now flowing freely.

  “Amos made arrangements for his passing long ago. I’ll let you know the day and time of his memorial service. I hope you’ll come.”

  “I’ll need to check with my parents,” Miriam replied, meeting Rose’s gaze. “I’d like to come, of course. He meant a great deal to me. He made me feel special…like I was more than just the hired help.” She choked on the words a bit, but they were true. Mamm would probably blush mightily if she heard her daughter speak them aloud though. Maybe the Englisha world had affected Miriam more than she’d imagined.

  Rose gave her a hug. “I loved him too, Miriam.”

  As the paramedics approached with a clipboard and paperwork, Miriam stepped back, hoping Rose would take over. “I’ll go clean up the kitchen,” Miriam said.

  “I wouldn’t think of allowing that,” Rose said. “Not after the shock you just had. Go on home and rest for the day. I’ll let you know when the viewing and the funeral will be.”

  “You and Mr. Bland have been so kind to me,” Miriam said, her smile trembling.

  “Nothing you didn’t deserve, dear.” Rose pressed Miriam’s arm.

  “I’ll be going then.” Miriam walked through the house, out the back door, and headed toward the barn. Mindy greeted her with a loud whinny, as if surprised they were leaving so soon.

  “Come. We need to go home
,” Miriam whispered into Mindy’s ear. Miriam took Mindy out of the stall and got her harnessed. Leading the mare outside, Miriam hitched her to the buggy and climbed in. The horse set off at a steady pace. A wave of emotion swept over Miriam. Right now all she wanted was to feel Mamm’s arms around her in a tight hug. Mamm would know the right words to say to comfort her.

  Chapter Three

  Eventually slowing Mindy down, Miriam went over the events of the morning again and again. It still seemed so…so impossible. And yet it was true. Mr. Bland had died. He was now in heaven with his beloved Thelma.

  At the Yoder driveway, Mindy took the turn and headed for the barn, stopping short, knowing the routine. Miriam made her way down the buggy steps and unhitched Mindy. She pulled open the barn door.

  “Home already?” her brother Lee greeted. “May I take Mindy for you?”

  “Yah, that would be great.”

  Lee waited with his hand on Mindy’s bridle. “You’re home early. Did you get the day off?”

  Miriam dropped her gaze. “Mr. Bland died this morning.”

  Lee’s hand jerked as Mindy pulled forward. “While you were there?” he asked.

  Miriam bit her lower lip. “Yah. I took him out to the front porch and went back in to fix breakfast. By the time I brought him his food, he’d passed.”

  “Wasn’t that quite a shock?” Lee opened a stall door and led Mindy in.

  “Yah, of course.”

  “So you’re out of a job then?” Lee was suddenly practical.

  “I suppose so.” Miriam turned to go. She didn’t want to think of the implications of what had happened this morning. Her sorrow over Mr. Bland’s passing was still too fresh.

  Lee shut the door on Mindy’s stall. “Milo Miller stopped by this morning to borrow the single tree. He told me Ivan Mast took Laura Swartz home from the hymn singing last night.” Lee glanced at Miriam for her reaction.

  “Was I that obvious?” Miriam asked as an image of Laura Swartz rushed through her mind. Laura was young and beautiful. The Swartz family had only recently moved back to the area from the Amish community in Clarita, Oklahoma, where Mamm’s sister Fannie and her family lived.

  Lee’s hand touched Miriam’s arm. “Don’t worry. I doubt anyone else thought anything about it. Besides, if Ivan’s not the one, there’s a decent man out there for you.”

  Miriam mustered a smile. Lee was obviously trying to be kind. After all, he had noticed, so no doubt others had too.

  “Don’t mourn too much,” Lee continued. “But then you won’t. You’re the stable and firm one of the family.”

  Miriam glanced at Lee’s face. “I may not be all you think I am. Sometimes my life hurts too, just like everyone else’s. Right now I can’t think about Ivan. Mr. Bland is barely gone from my life. He was a kind man, and I’ll miss him. He wasn’t just my employer. I counted him as a friend.”

  “Trouble does seem to come in strong doses,” Lee agreed. He shrugged as if that were the end of the matter.

  “I’d better go,” Miriam said. “Mamm will be wondering why I’m home. Thanks for your concern. That was nice of you.”

  “Just remember, there’s bigger fish in the ocean,” he chirped.

  Miriam closed the barn door and walked toward the house. Despite her sorrow over Mr. Bland’s death, Lee’s news shocked her. Ivan Mast had taken Laura Swartz home! He’d never asked Miriam home. And even Laura’s older sister, Esther, was almost as gut looking as Laura was. But Ivan had chosen the younger one. Pain throbbed deep inside her. How could Ivan have done that? Had she been wrong to think God was bringing them together? What about all the glances, smiles, and implied promises? Did Ivan believe he’d found someone better than her?

  And who was she to say he hadn’t? Did she esteem herself above another woman? I don’t want to, Miriam told herself. But the truth was the thought of Ivan in his buggy with Laura seated beside him made her heart feel like a chunk of lead. Possum Valley suddenly felt straight and narrow, making it hard to breathe. Miriam wanted to run and never stop.

  She quickened her pace toward the house. There was no place she could go, and no money to go anywhere anyway. She’d simply have to face the facts as they were. Somehow she’d get over the dreams she’d had for Ivan and herself. Laura Swartz had a perfect right to make a move for Ivan’s attention, and apparently she’d won his heart fair and square. Miriam hurried on and pushed away thoughts of Ivan and Laura. Mamm was waiting just inside the doorway with alarm written on her face. “You’re home at this hour? What’s happened, Miriam?”

  “Mr. Bland passed this morning after I arrived.” Miriam kept her voice matter-of-fact.

  “Oh, no!” Mamm gave Miriam a long hug before she led her daughter to the couch and sat beside her. “Tell me what happened.”

  Shirley appeared from the kitchen as Miriam began to recite the story. When she got to the part where Mr. Bland slipped quietly away to join his beloved frau, both Mamm and Shirley teared up.

  “The man had a gut heart,” Mamm said.

  “I wonder what Mr. Bland saw as he left?” Shirley said. “Do you think his frau came to lead him over?”

  Mamm shook her head. “We’ll leave those things to the Lord and not to our imaginations.”

  Shirley shuddered. “I’m glad I wasn’t there.”

  “That’s why Miriam had the job,” Mamm said. “Still, you would have learned to handle the unexpected. We all do eventually. Well, now it’s over and life must go on. We must pray for the family Mr. Bland has left behind. And for us too…”

  Mamm clearly felt compassion for Mr. Bland’s family, but there was also the realization that Miriam was now jobless. There would be no more paychecks until she found another one.

  Miriam forced herself to her feet. “I’ll look for another job right away. I can even start asking around this afternoon.”

  “You’ll eat first,” Mamm said. “We have lunch ready. I do agree that it would be wise if you looked for work this afternoon.”

  “We’re always short on money,” Shirley said with a shudder. “Why can’t Daett deal with the tourists like everyone else?”

  Mamm’s gaze followed her second daughter as the seventeen-year-old went into the kitchen. Turning back to Miriam, she said, “I’m sorry things are the way they are, but your daett and I are grateful for everything both of you girls do for us. Life’s not fair sometimes, but the Lord will reward you greatly for your sacrifices.”

  Miriam glanced away. Mamm’s praise might cause a burst of tears if she thought on it too long, and that wouldn’t be helpful. She was the eldest daughter and had her responsibilities. Things were what they were.

  Mamm gave Miriam another hug and left for the bedroom. Miriam walked into the kitchen where Shirley had set plates on the table. She didn’t look up when Miriam opened the utensil drawer to help.

  After a few moments Miriam said, “You shouldn’t complain so much about our money problems. It’s not right.”

  “I’m not a saint like you,” Shirley snapped.

  Mamm appeared in the kitchen doorway with a weary look on her face.

  Miriam rushed over to slip her arm around her mamm’s shoulder. “You’d best sit, okay? I’ll help finish lunch.”

  Mamm took the chair with relief on her face. “You’d think this would get easier after ten children. You’re the one who should be babied right now, not me.”

  Miriam ignored the comment. “Are you having complications perhaps?”

  Mamm shook her head. “Just the normal pains and tiredness. And now I’m wondering about…well, you know.”

  Money. There is always the money, Miriam thought.

  Shirley moaned and declared, “As for me, I think I might just marry a rich man!”

  “That’s not a wise thing to say,” Mamm scolded. “There’s not a better man around than your daett. You would do well to find such a decent husband.”

  “I suppose,” Shirley allowed, but from the look on her face Miriam knew she�
�d still try to find both—a husband who was decent and well off. With Shirley’s success with men, that wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. She had options Miriam didn’t.

  Mamm cleared her throat. “You know, Miriam, there’s some other bad news you need to know about. It’s been said that Ivan Mast took Laura Swartz home on Sunday evening.”

  Miriam looked at the floor. “Yah, Lee told me.”

  “Ivan’s only a day laborer at the Beachy’s store,” Shirley offered before Mamm could respond. “That’s not much of a loss, if you ask me.”

  “Shirley!” Mamm scolded again. “Ivan is a decent man, and I had hopes something serious would come of his…his friendship with Miriam.”

  “I’m only teasing,” Shirley protested. “Sort of.”

  Miriam busied herself with placing silverware on the table. “I’ll get over him, Mamm. Don’t worry.”

  Mamm didn’t say anything as the washroom door slammed and happy chatter crept into the kitchen.

  Thankfully Daett, along with Lee and Mark and the younger children who weren’t in school, had chosen this moment to enter the washroom. The talk about Ivan could now end. Miriam let out a sigh of relief.

  Shirley opened the washroom door and hollered out, “Dinner!” Lee and Mark roared their protest at Shirley’s loud greeting, and Shirley laughed heartily.

  “She only does that because you jump,” Mark told Lee.

  “Yah. I’m getting a quiet wife, that’s for sure.” Lee came in and took his seat at the table.

  “She has to be pretty, of course,” Shirley chirped.

  “That goes without saying.” Mark made a wry face. “I wouldn’t date a girl if she wasn’t pretty.”

  “Just so she’s quiet,” Lee repeated with a glare at Shirley.

  “That’s not a nice thing to say about your sister,” Shirley pouted.

  Lee grinned. “I guess it would be okay if she were both pretty and quiet.”

  “You’re so mean.” Shirley made a face at him.

  “Okay, enough of this talk,” Daett interrupted. “Let’s pray and bless the food.” He led out in a prayer of thanksgiving for the noon meal.