A Heart Once Broken Page 10

  Ezra nodded. “The cows were out. We have a fence jumper, but we thought we had everything shipshape. Still, she must have found a hole again last night. They were all in the cornfield and we had to run them out. Thankfully the harvest is in. They could only tear up the field.”

  “That’s terrible,” Sandra sympathized. “Seems like there’s always one of those in every herd. Not that I’m much of a farmer’s daughter, but Daett always claimed so.” Sandra unfastened the last strap and Ezra led his horse forward while she held the shafts.

  Ezra walked the horse into the barn while Sandra waited.

  “Don’t forget to come inside for the service,” Clyde said from a few feet away.

  Sandra gasped and Clyde hurried on before she could respond. Her face was still flushed, she was sure, when Ezra returned from the barn.

  Sandra smiled her brightest. Hopefully Ezra would think she was glad to see him—which she was. Ezra was the only center of sanity at the moment.

  Ezra returned Sandra’s smile. “Ready to go inside?”

  “Yah.” Sandra dropped her gaze as Ezra led the way toward the house. Sandra stayed close by his side the whole way. Let Clyde get a goot look at the quality couple they were, Sandra told herself, and perhaps he’d lose his foolish ideas about the two of them.

  When they entered the house Bishop Henry had already taken his place on the front bench and the other ministers had gathered around him. Sandra led the way to the special benches for the table waiters. The two lines were set up near the front with easy access to the kitchen. That way they could leave right after the ceremony and not have to wade through the crowd.

  Lydia was already seated on the second bench with her cousin Enos Troyer, and Clyde had found his cousin Lavina from Ohio. The girl appeared radiant and happy.

  When Clyde grinned at Sandra, she quickly looked away. Thankfully Ezra didn’t notice the inappropriate attention Clyde had paid her. But Ezra wasn’t noticing much. That was the problem. Panic niggled at Sandra. She would have to break through his indifference. But how? Should she wrap her arms around Ezra’s neck and profess her deep devotion for him?

  No, that wouldn’t work with Ezra or any Amish man. They liked to arrive at a decision on their own. She had no objection if only they would make up their minds. And in Ezra’s case—choose her.

  Sandra stilled her thoughts as the room filled with guests and she and Ezra took their seats. She leaned closer to Ezra and whispered, “Sorry about our drab dresses, but Amos picked out the cloth.”

  “Oh!” Ezra appeared surprised. He glanced at Sandra’s dress. “I guess he does run a tight ship.”

  “Just letting you know it wasn’t Mamm,” Sandra whispered back.

  “Your beauty, as well as Lydia’s, makes up the difference,” Ezra teased.

  Sandra pressed her lips together. That wasn’t the response she had hoped for, even though it was nice to hear. Ezra was supposed to have forgotten about Lydia, but he obviously still saw them as the same person.

  Sandra willed her racing heart to slow. Someone gave out a song number and Sandra concentrated on the singing. She must not imagine things. Ezra had acted perfectly normal this morning, and if he still thought Lydia was beautiful, that only reflected well on herself. So there!

  Sandra sang vigorously, and Ezra whispered from the bench beside her. “Happy that your Mamm is marrying today?”

  Sandra faked a smile and sang even louder. Ezra would have to think what he wanted. Maybe she had finally made an impression on him. How that would translate into a request for a date, she wasn’t sure. But anything was better than this gray existence where Ezra smiled and did nothing.

  On the second line of the song, Bishop Henry rose slowly to his feet and led the line of ministers upstairs. Amos stood to follow them with Mamm beside him, and the two fell in line behind the ministers. The singing continued for another twenty minutes until Amos and Mamm returned.

  The ministers had instructed them for the same length of time a young couple usually stayed upstairs. Amos and Mamm knew as much about marriage as any of the ministers did, but likely the ministers had spent their time in wishing the couple well. Or in talking about the problems inherent in a second marriage—such as feuding children. That’s what Clyde and she were—only worse. Clyde wanted to marry her.

  Sandra glanced down at Ezra’s arm pressed against her dress. On impulse she slipped her fingers into his hand. He smiled and didn’t seem to mind. They rarely had opportunities for such intimacies. Here one had presented itself, and she was not about to pass up the chance. Maybe Ezra would see how pleasant things would be if she saw him every Sunday evening, and they could hold hands together on the couch.

  Ten minutes later Bishop Henry reappeared at the stair door with the other ministers behind him, and Sandra let go of Ezra’s hand. The singing stopped and moments later the preaching began. Mamm listened to each word with rapt attention. Maybe Mamm thought she needed fresh instructions as she faced life again with a man. Sandra knew she herself would need more than preaching in order to live with Amos. She would need a lightning bolt from heaven to keep her on the straight and narrow. But Mamm was obviously more saintly.

  Bishop Henry rose to his feet at eleven o’clock for the main sermon. A smile flitted on his face as the bishop addressed Mamm and Amos.

  “We have come now to this hour when the two of you will promise your lives to each other for better or worse. You will now walk together in the will and blessing of the Lord. I know that both of you are older and wiser for this marriage. At least one would hope so.” Bishop Henry paused for a chuckle. “I wonder sometimes how wise I am when I see childishness and ingratitude in my attitude toward Lena. But I trust you will both allow the Lord’s spirit to guide you in your walk together through life. I know my heart is gladdened today. Especially after the sorrow we experienced recently with Brother Emil’s passing. But we will think of happiness today and of the joy Brother Emil must be experiencing with the Lord.”

  Mamm wiped away a tear and Bishop Henry hurried on with his sermon. From the look on his face Bishop Henry wished he hadn’t brought up Daett’s name. The minutes ticked on and Bishop Henry wrapped up his sermon at a quarter to twelve. “Now if our brother and sister, Amos and Edna, are still willing to enter into the holy state of matrimony, please come forward.”

  Amos stood to his feet and Mamm followed him. Mamm’s dress was of a slightly lighter blue color, but still drab. Sandra hadn’t thought of how Mamm appeared until now. Amos could have chosen a nicer color. The bitterness raced through Sandra. She struggled to push the thought away. Mamm was beautiful even with the touch of sorrow that filled her face. With a calm voice Mamm said her vows with Amos.

  “And now I pronounce you man and wife, in the name of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,” Bishop Henry said. Mamm tried to smile, but the effort failed. Amos practically glowed, though, and Sandra’s bitter thoughts came back.

  They were still there when Amos and Mamm took their seats again and the last song was sung. The long line of table waiters stood to their feet and moved toward the kitchen. Sandra tried to breathe evenly. Her anger toward Amos still hadn’t subsided.

  Sandra caught sight of the satchel strap that had fallen into the aisle only a moment before her foot caught it. With a cry she sprawled forward into the kitchen, ending up on the floor with a loud crash. The pain in her foot was so intense she couldn’t pull in a full breath. Ezra had grasped her arm, but too late. His attention was now fixed on the chair that had tipped sideways and lodged in the ankle of her boot.

  “Hold still until I can get the chair out,” Ezra whispered.

  Hot flashes filled Sandra’s face and neck as she clutched the leg of the kitchen table. This was what happened when bitterness and anger entered the heart. The Lord had rebuked her severely for her transgression, and shamed her in front of the whole community. Sandra moaned and looked up as several of the table waiter girls’ faces peered down at her. Mamm’s anxio
us face soon appeared as she knelt beside Sandra.

  Mamm repeated Ezra’s words. “Hold still.”

  Sandra almost cried out as Ezra gently moved the chair.

  “Is it broken?” Horror tinged Mamm’s voice. “Surely not! Oh, Sandra!”

  “No, it’s not broken.” Sandra gritted her teeth. She was not about to destroy her day with Ezra. No, not for anything! Not after they had barely begun to enjoy each other’s presence. Why did she have to fall over a satchel strap like a klutz and wrap her foot in a chair?

  “Come.” Ezra offered his hand, and Sandra gripped his arm with both hands. She groaned as Ezra helped her up. Sandra stood with both hands on the table’s edge.

  “Try your foot.” Ezra smiled encouragingly. “Maybe it’s just wrenched.”

  Sandra applied pressure to the floor and cried out.

  “You must go into the doctor’s office in Canton and have this x-rayed,” Mamm ordered. “Mark can take you.”

  “But I have to wait on tables,” Sandra wailed. “I want to wait on tables.”

  “You’re not suffering because of me.” Mamm was firm. “And you can’t work on that foot anyway.”

  “You had best listen to your mamm,” Amos spoke up loudly. Sandra wilted. She couldn’t defy the man in public. He was her daett now.

  “It’ll be for the best.” Ezra squeezed Sandra’s arm, trying to comfort her.

  “But who will wait on the tables with you?” Sandra tried again.

  “We’ll find someone to fill in,” Mamm said. “Now, let’s get you out to the buggy. And here’s Clyde already with a pair of crutches for you.”

  How Clyde had known they had a set in the basement was beyond her. From the grin on his face Clyde didn’t seem troubled over her misfortune. Likely he was thrilled to get her away from Ezra. Oh, why had everything conspired to thwart her plans? Was she doomed to failure with victory right at her fingertips?

  Mamm pressed the crutches into Sandra’s hands. “Try these. Daett used them last year when he sprained his foot.”

  The crutches fit, and Sandra moaned as a path was opened in front of her. With short hobbles she worked her way through the living room. Ezra stayed on one side of her and Mamm on the other as they went down the front steps. Someone had run ahead to prepare Mark’s buggy, and it was waiting at the end of the walk. Mamm helped Sandra up into the buggy while Ezra held her arm. Mark jumped into the other side and grabbed the reins.

  “It’s not an emergency, you know,” Sandra grumbled.

  “Yah, it is.” Ezra peered up into the buggy. “I’m so sorry this happened, but maybe you can be back for the evening service.”

  Sandra squeezed back the tears. A lot of goot that would do. Ezra would have been with another girl for hours by then. Some girl other than her.

  “We’ll be thinking of you,” Ezra said before he stepped back from the buggy.

  Mark jiggled the reins, and they were off down the lane.

  Her day was ruined, and so were her chances with Ezra. She would never get another opportunity like this. Not ever again.

  “Don’t feel too bad,” Mark said. “You’ll be better in a few weeks. A cast is the worst that will happen—if that.”

  Sandra didn’t say anything as she let the tears flow freely.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Rosemary stood beside Lydia among the shocked group of girls, several of whom were still staring down the road as the last of the buggy with Sandra and Mark inside disappeared from sight.

  Lydia leaned closer to whisper. “Did this have to happen to Sandra? And after the tragedy with her daett. The poor thing.”

  “I know,” Rosemary agreed. “I felt so helpless. I couldn’t even get close enough to comfort her.”

  Not that Rosemary would have been much of a comfort. Sandra was in enough agony with her injured foot without the reminder that Rosemary had set her kapp for Ezra. She had hung back while Ezra had stayed faithfully by Sandra’s side, right up until Sandra had been lifted into Mark’s buggy.

  Rosemary turned to look as Amos walked across the lawn and whispered in Deacon Schrock’s ear. The deacon soon waved his hand around for attention and hollered, “Please, everybody. We all know this has been unnerving, but Sandra will be okay. Accidents like this happen and it won’t stop the wedding meal. So if you will please find your way out to the barn the food will be served as planned. And Amos wants to thank all of you for coming.”

  The crowd began to move and Lydia sighed. “I suppose I’d best go find my cousin Enos. Looks like we’ll have to work harder to make up for the lost time, and we’re short one girl now.”

  The shortage would be at Ezra’s table, Rosemary thought, as Lydia hurried toward the barn. Did she dare volunteer to help him? She didn’t have a dress ready to match the other table waiters, and such positions were by invitation only. What had gotten into her to imagine such a thing? The thought took her breath away. No doubt Ezra could find some relative to work with him.

  Rosemary groaned. How she wanted to work with Ezra today. How badly! And how disloyal this would be to Sandra on her mamm’s wedding day, but she couldn’t help herself. Rosemary moved toward the house along with several of the other girls. That was the proper direction for her, Rosemary told herself. But she paused when one of the girls hurried out of the barn and called to her, “Lydia wants you, Rosemary.”

  Was she to work with Ezra? But that wasn’t possible. With unsteady steps Rosemary pressed through the crowd and found Lydia in the barn.

  “Hurry up,” Lydia said. “Edna wants you to help Ezra.”

  “Ezra!” Rosemary tried to breathe. “But why me? What about you?”

  “Just be thankful,” Lydia said with a smile. “Edna agreed at once, and it’s her wedding. I’d fill in, but I’m paired with Enos already.”

  Rosemary blushed like a summer rose, she was sure, and no one around had any idea why. Well, they would soon. Ezra was standing off to the corner of the barn with a worried look on his face. Apparently no one had told him who would work with him.

  Lydia took Rosemary’s hand and led her up to Ezra. “Ezra, Edna wants Rosemary to work with you in Sandra’s place. Is that okay?”

  “Of course!” Ezra’s face lit up. “I couldn’t think of anyone better to take her place.”

  Rosemary’s face flamed even more.

  Lydia gave them both a sharp sideways glance. “I’m going now. Don’t spill anything, Rosemary.”

  Lydia knew of her clumsiness, but right now Rosemary didn’t care. All she could see was Ezra’s handsome face right beside her and his smile fixed on her. Ezra stepped closer to whisper, “I meant every word I said. Now, come.” Ezra took Rosemary’s hand and they headed across the barn to where the makeshift kitchen was concealed behind a thick white curtain.

  Rosemary was sure she was floating. Never had Ezra held her hand. Of course, there hadn’t been a reason to, but there wasn’t a real reason now. Still, she mustn’t read too much into the gesture. Ezra must have simply noticed her discomfort and wanted to place her at ease so they could work together.

  Ezra stopped in front of the wall where a list was posted. “This is our schedule,” Ezra said. “We have the corner table. And there’s Bishop Henry ready to lead out in prayer right now. Looks like we’re just in time.” Ezra grinned as they bowed their heads together.

  Rosemary opened her eyes before the prayer was completed to peek at Ezra. He had his eyes tightly shut, and she dropped her gaze at once. How could she be so shameless? And yet, she might never have another afternoon with Ezra. Somehow she had to make the most of this moment. Maybe she could touch Ezra’s hand again when he wouldn’t notice. But that would never do. She might easily pass out! How could she ever repay Lydia for this kindness? Lydia didn’t have to pick her, but she had.

  “Amen.” Bishop Henry’s voice rang through the whole barn as he concluded the prayer.

  Ezra reached over to squeeze Rosemary’s hand. “Are you ready?”

&nbs
p; “I guess.” Rosemary tried to stay upright. “Did you say we have the corner table?”

  Ezra looked down cheerfully. “Yep, let’s go.”

  The corner table! Rosemary’s head spun as she followed Ezra. The words hadn’t registered the first time Ezra spoke them. The corner table was the place of honor. Everyone would notice her. Rosemary steadied herself and kept walking beside Ezra.

  Ezra paused in front of the long table where the cooks had laid out the food. He gathered up several plates and muttered, “Corner table, here we come.”

  Several of the women hurried toward them and one scolded, “Not that plate, Ezra. Take the smaller one. And remember that Sandra—oh, yah, I forgot for a moment. Remember that Rosemary goes first.”

  Ezra pretended to scowl. “I’ll remember.”

  “I’m so sorry about Sandra,” Rosemary managed. Several of the cooks nodded. She wasn’t to blame for this situation, Rosemary reminded herself.

  Ezra waited with his hands full until Rosemary filled her own. If the sauce spilled on her arm and burned all the way through the skin, she would not wince. Maybe the pain would wake her up from this stupor and she could gain control of herself.

  Ezra hung back as Rosemary forced her feet forward. The aisle seemed to stretch out for miles to where Edna and Amos sat at the corner table, their witnesses on either side of them. Rosemary pasted on a smile and forged on. She didn’t dare glance at the dishes. Sandra had tripped in the house over a satchel strap, but Rosemary could stumble on her own two feet if she wasn’t careful.

  Edna gave Rosemary a warm smile as she set down the first plate. “Thanks for helping out, dear. You’re such a blessing.”

  “I’m so sorry about Sandra,” Rosemary replied. “Have you heard anything yet?”

  She knew Edna hadn’t, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  “Sandra will be fine,” Amos said. “And looks like you made out pretty goot. You must admit that Ezra’s quite a handsome young man.”